being frank

    Navigation

    Are You Bored?

    Being Frank
    ,
    , , , , , , ,

    When it comes to boredom, many people don’t like it. I get it. The thought of having nothing to do bothers me a great deal. But I should explain that “having nothing to do” doesn’t equate to spending a few quiet moments outdoors or sitting in a park or by a body of water and watching the world go by. Those activities may be static by design, but they are quite active at providing a sense of peace and emotional well-being to a heart and mind that often need resetting after being pummeled by life’s relentless motion.

    But one of the main reasons people don’t like boredom is because they fear it.

    There are many studies on why we fear boredom. Some of the reasons relate to a fear of being left alone with our own thoughts. When the mind is not occupied, it leaves itself wide open to accusatory notions from the subconscious pertaining to a negative sense of self. It also allows for endless rumination concerning the unfair or unjustifiable thoughts harbored about oneself. Boredom can also lead to a fear of worthlessness or a loss of purpose or feeling ordinary in a world that has bastardized that feeling in the worst way possible.

    Yet with every marvel that occurs within and around you every day, being ordinary is the last thing any of us should feel.

    I bring this up because I happened to catch a fleeting conversation between a middle aged couple at the supermarket last week. The woman asked the man what he’d like for dinner. He stood there and muttered what seemed like a series of grunts meant to reference something he saw. That was an assumption on my part; a verbal shorthand that couples sometimes develop over the years. I was wrong. When the woman asked again, the husband’s response was the most innocuous and yet most uttered phrase at the grocery store:

    “I dunno; I’m just bored with the same old stuff.”

    Despite how we may feel about the state of our groceries today (fantastic fluctuating prices notwithstanding), we live in a country with a massive selection of nutritious and high-quality food. And considering the incredible number of recipes that exist thanks to our rich and diverse culture, being bored with food isn’t an issue – it’s a sign pointing to a greater problem.

    Fear is a paralyzing emotion; an evolutionary response to threats our mind recognizes through the signals received from mechanisms, be they physical, psychological or social. And each of these triggers can be fooled; from visual aberrations, innocuous sounds, to your cousin’s jabbering about aliens living in Area 51. Social and psychological fears tend to find a safe harbor in our minds as a means of protecting ourselves from repetitive actions so we may be better prepared in the future There are also inherited fears from our primal ancestors. All of these reside in parts of our brain designed to help keep us safe, and our mind is subconsciously aware of their existence. So when the mind is bored, it’s merely trying to protect us from either a deep seated anxiety or something we know to be wrong or problematic yet we have no desire to face it.

    Final Thoughts

    Boredom may be a crutch or a cop-out, but it can also be a wonderful motivational tool that presents itself in the form of opportunities. These provide a way for you to find options that will help dispel or eliminate those fears lurking around in your head. Boredom is like air; when it presents itself, open up your mind and let it take flight; take that chance to find something new or explore ideas beyond the mainstream. Remember daydreaming? That is an escape mechanism that occurs when your mind is bored. Some of the best ideas come from those flights of fancy taken when the mind finds itself locked up in confusion or indecision.

    The beauty and the bother about our brain is that it’s malleable; everything is literally stored in Jell-OTM. And as much as we like to think that we’re the key master to everything that is placed inside, think again. We’re subject to all manner of suggestions and ideas; subterfuge and deception. The secret is to use those moments of boredom to take a closer look at what resides in our minds. Look at things from every angle and compare it to those immutable filters such as logic or common sense. You may find other avenues for growth and resolution and even get rid of a few fears or misplaced concerns. Don’t be bored with the same old stuff; walk around the supermarket in your mind and discover the healthy options that exist through the auspices of boredom – the emissary of opportunities.

     

    6 responses to “Are You Bored?”

    1. Maria Potter Avatar
      Maria Potter

      Definitedly, boredom gets a bad wrap! But in all honesty Frank, I can see myself in your  words. This article really pokes at something most of us would rather avoid admitting: our deep discomfort with stillness, repetition, or the feeling of having “not much” to do.
      My own transition into retirement surprised me. I truly believed that having free time—real time—to do the things I wanted would feel marvelous. Instead, it felt disorienting. I had been so accustomed to constant interaction, connection, and movement. I even found stress rewarding (yes, I hear how unhinged that sounds), because I thrived in that always-on, go-go-go rhythm.
      We live in a world where boredom is treated like a failure state, where people get restless if they have to read more than one sentence without a dopamine hit or a scrolling thumb. But I discovered in those moments when I feel “bored” the constant noise finally backs off. Your brain isn’t reacting, scrolling, solving, or producing, it’s wandering. That wandering state is where creativity sneaks in. Ideas connect, memories resurface.  And Interestingly enough, boredom creates space, and space is where insight lives. It can also be restorative. 
      So yes, sometimes that uneasy restlessness isn’t asking for entertainment, it’s learning to sit with ourselves. So no, boredom isn’t empty time. It’s fallow ground. And fallow ground, given a little patience, is where the next season grows. 
      So thank you Frank for giving boredom a much-needed PR makeover. You make a strong case that maybe the pause isn’t the problem, our fear of it is. This piece felt like permission to stop filling every moment and simply let a few of them be. ?
      Maria

      Reply
      1. Being Frank Avatar
        Being Frank

        Maria, thank you for those heartfelt and revelatory thoughts. A long time ago, CeCe warned me about the addictive nature of a hyperactive, overly-saturated life laden with excessive chaos. She spoke about how it robbed us of our ability to think clearly; causing us to lose sight of the intrinsic nature of silence and keeping us from our ability to think creatively and constructively. It wasn’t until I walked away from that 24/7 noise disguised an infotainment that I discovered the beauty of being alone with my thoughts. It was there that I rediscovered ideas and insights I thought I had forgotten; they were merely shrouded in an intrusive noise that drowned out all reason.

        As we get older, boredom becomes the boogeyman; the place where all of our nightmares supposedly reside. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. They were never nightmares; merely the fears constantly fed to us as a way to keep us consuming and belonging while chasing after a steady stream of excess. Fear sells, and when boredom sets in, you believe that all of your purported failures, inabilities or inadequacies exist in that chasm of apathy. Fear and boredom can be mutually exclusive if you’re willing to see the oceans of opportunity that exist in the quiet corners of your mind. You cannot find peace while in the midst of dissonance; it lives in the unseen moments between imaginings and expectations, far from the reach of an overworked mind. The best thing you can do is invite boredom in from time to time, and just let the empty canvas be your guide. As always, thanks for writing!

        Reply
    2. Bernard Spriggs Avatar
      Bernard Spriggs

      This so true, Frank; boredom is real! I got bored twice in the Navy, and one of the things I ended up creating was a better way of tracking Aircraft Component System and Repair; an inventory management system used across the military supply chain of which a rendition is still being used today. Whenever boredom happens, I figure out why I’m bored and change my environment to streamline or replace what I’m doing. That happened at Fannie Mae a few times and when I went to college in 2017. Each time, I ensured a better process so I was able to contribute positive change. I continue to do this in my retirement, creating things with my crafting machine and always learning because when I’m idle, I’m bored.

      Reply
      1. Being Frank Avatar
        Being Frank

        Bernie – thank you so much for writing and sharing your experiences! When you can separate boredom from fear, you develop the ability to find ways for exploring the potential that lies within. For you lately, that has manifested most prodigiously in your creative crafts! I know that you’re rarely idle, but I always know that something wonderful will surface when you’re bored! ?? Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

        Reply
    3. sweetsfuturistically1ce5c8f5ef Avatar
      sweetsfuturistically1ce5c8f5ef

      Another great article, Frank!
      I live in a nice subdivision. Georgia has a relatively mild winter. There is a beautiful park right outside my back gate and plenty of sidewalks for a daily walk. I am bored with all of it, Frank. I want to walk on the beach every day, take a dip & then go to breakfast. My wife loves it right where we are. I am sacrificing my dream for hers! The rain, the park & other things (Remember that great song?) don’t cut it for me where I am right now. The sun, the sand & other things might be the remedy for my boredom, Frank!
      God Bless & Hope You Are Well!
      Bored Georgia Phil

      Reply
      1. Being Frank Avatar
        Being Frank

        Phil, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on the subject. I know that you’ve been living in GA now for quite some time, and the property is a lovely place. I think it’s a beautiful thing to sacrifice something another, and I have no doubt that Sonja appreciates that deeply. But I’ll tell you this: I’ve been on the farm now going on 10 years. When I go out for my walks, I pretty much follow the same paths along the same fields, day in and day out; six days a week. Yet in those 10 years I still discover something wonderful from time to time. And that’s because nature is always growing and in a state of flux. I think that if you were to forgo thinking of the walks in that park behind your house and instead focus on what you see while you’re walking, I bet that you’d discover something new or interesting as you go along. You need to open your mind to those possibilities. Because if you can make the assumption of being bored in the park, I would imagine that the same thing would happen if you were living in an area where you could walk along the beach each day and take a dip before having breakfast. Your surroundings don’t elicit boredom; your decision not to enjoy the possibilities that surround you is doing that. Give it a shot; it can’t hurt, and you might be surprised at what you’ll discover. Thanks again for writing; sending much love and blessings to you and Sonja!

        Reply

    Leave a Reply