being frank

    Navigation

    The New American Diet

    Being Frank
    , ,
    , , , , , , ,

    As the new year rolled in, so did the various new diets. They do this in order to capitalize on the guilt that most people feel after spending the last six-odd weeks or thereabouts eating with abandon.

    But I’d like to talk about a new kind of diet that has become quite pervasive in the United States. It seems to follow the associative pattern as most diets, with a slight difference: It plays on people’s fear instead of their guilt. Now, you may find this to be not entirely true. And that’s OK; this commentary isn’t necessarily based on any statistical analyses that may have been done recently. I’m basing this on the connections that exist between my two eyes, my two ears, my brain and my heart.

    So what makes this new diet so special? Well, it starts off when you notice that it’s harder to bend over and reach your virtues, often exposing more of your integrity that you care to show. That’s because we’ve been fed healthy portions of American Exceptionalism for quite some time. And for many, that became the de facto dietary regime. But it’s a diet that, like most rich foods, tends to make you gain weight. The weight of complacency; a weight gained by carrying too much arrogance and getting carried away by making too many assumptions. A few believe they can drop some of that weight by shedding responsibilities, but they end up finding out to their displeasure that those only count as empty calories.

    It is true that some of these things we ingest can help us lose some of that unsightly weight. For example, heavy mixtures of arrogance and assumed superiority have a tendency to make people lose their morality. And once they see some results, they tend to pack it on in the hopes that it will relieve that bloated feeling they get as they lose their sense of empathy. But in time, that eventually goes away. Empathy isn’t a stubborn weight to lose. It’s comparable to losing inches around your waist; you don’t realize how much of your empathy you’ve lost until you wrap yourself in that mantle of deceitfulness and realize how much better it fits with all that annoying affinity gone.

    At this stage in the diet, your body moves swiftly by working on those spots that are always difficult to eliminate. Like those pockets of caring that always seem to grow around your heart, or that unsightly flab of compassion that really won’t go away unless you exercise your right to diminish the lives of others. That’s when you start to see the loss of dignity; it’s when you know that the diet is working because you start to perceive that you are better than others and feel more righteous – that’s the loss of consequence you’re feeling.

    But like most diets, a few people will tend to gain some of that unsightly weight back. It’s not due to a lack of trying. It’s mostly because of the manner in which our brains get addicted to the chemical reactions that occur when happiness, empathy or love are allowed to grow for a number of years. Your brain will go for a dose of a cocktail1 that makes you feel happy, starting a cycle whereby the brain hungers for more with each passing day. As you can imagine, this will drive you to crave an extra slice of empathy when you dig in to that pie of sensitivity. Or when you feel awful after a dinner of deceit, pessimism or just a bit of mischievousness, and wish to wash away the bad taste with a Sunday topped with civility and gallantry.

    I’m hoping that this information regarding the new American diet will make it easier for you to understand how easy it is to let go of yourself. It starts with an innocent outing on the town with friends or acquaintances. Eventually, everyone is excited and feeling hungry, and someone will suggest that you all go to that place where you know they serve the best innuendoes, half-truths and lots of flaming rhetoric dipped in a spicy double-talk sauce. Invariably, you’ll find that you’ve perked up an appetite for destruction. Before you know it, you’re weighed down by regrets, dismay, disgust and with an awful craving for retribution in order to satiate that burning feeling in your heart.

    Final Thoughts

    Might I suggest the following: Live to be happy; don’t just be happy to be alive. Treat happiness like a universal ingredient; the protein that provides you the strength to endure a craving for deception or a taste for hoaxes. Remember that a balanced diet of kindness, collaboration and understanding will help to tip the scales in the direction of morality, keeping your sprit light, your mind alert and your heart free from rage.

    And remember: Everyone’s mindset is different. Some find it easy to stick to a healthy diet of understanding, while others crave ignorance or indifference. Stick to what makes you feel good – about yourself, your actions and your beliefs. Eventually, those around you will start to see that with a little bit of effort, you can carry the weight of morality, hope and empathy with a smile on your face and with all the love that builds confidence and understanding. Be patient with your diet; be proud of your choices.

    1. https://khironclinics.com/blog/the-brains-happy-chemicals-explained/#:~:text=These%20chemicals%20are%20Dopamine%2C%20Oxytocin,more%20of%20the%20same%20chemicals. ↩︎

    4 responses to “The New American Diet”

    1. Nina Martino Avatar
      Nina Martino

      Frank, excellent analogy. We have been named ‘The Ugly American’ for many reasons. The cloak of superiority which some wear is in many cases one of inferiority and ignorance. Unfortunately, we learn by example. The USA has had a superiority complex in dealings with other countries..forever. The ‘know it all’ meddling with the pretense of helping, especially when there is some advantage whether monetary or a takeover.

      Many countries are under the impression that in the USA there is a ‘pot of gold’ to be had. Unfortunately, that and jealousy has caused the downfall of a once great democracy. That is another subject matter.

      We learn by example and our leaders leave much to be desired. Goodwill, the love of self, humility…are so needed in society today. The overeating, junk food phase, not caring about one’s appearance all attribute to the loss of values.

      Something that attributes greatly to this lack of feeling of happiness is that probably more than 95% of US citizens are obsessed with the ‘run to the doctor’ syndrome; probably 99% are on pills & drugs. The insurance companies, doctors, hospitals  promote ‘sickness’ as they are over exaggeratedly compensated. We are a ‘sick’ country with ‘sick’ people.

      So much needs to be changed, especially the mentality, and it has to start with decent, caring leadership.

      Thank you for your blog. Hopefully it will reach, influence and want people to first ‘see’ what is happening to them and then ‘do’ something about it.

      Reply
      1. Being Frank Avatar
        Being Frank

        Nina, thank you so much for writing! I recall being face to face with that moniker of The Ugly American when I first went to Europe. Yet it wasn’t until years later that I understood the reasoning behind it. Some Americans behaved with a sense of divine entitlement, as though their citizenship gave them the authority to demand cultural changes with impunity. Somehow, they believed that the world should behave in accordance to the American way of life. But that is rarely the case. I found that several European nations did cater to American interests. In most cases, it was because of a genuine interest in pleasing their neighbors to the West. But in some, the relationships were purely financial.

        Yes, there has always been that image of America as being the Land of Opportunity. And in several key moments of our history, that was the case. But opportunities, like food, water or land, become finite. Every nation has to measure its success and the manner by which it will share its wealth. But you cannot do that for others while negating the people in your own back yard.

        It is true that many seek happiness at the bottom of a bottle – be it for a prescription or a drink. As with anything else, some of these problems are chronic symptoms of a fractured society that spends less time on assisting those in need, and instead continues to admire and revere those whose sociopathic tendencies have brought them to the pinnacle of wealth and success. In most cases, what makes a person great shouldn’t be their ability to wield arrogance indiscriminately. Instead, it should be the courage in helping others at the expense of fame or notoriety. The greatest gifts are often those shared anonymously; your contribution isn’t judged just by the size of your wallet, but by the size of your heart and your courage.

        You are correct that, in today’s world, what needs to happen is a shift in leadership. Guidance should be measured by restraint, and its strength gauged through wisdom. But such changes have to be directed inward before they’ll be of any value beyond our borders. We’ve always been a country that has strived to be a beacon of hope and opportunity. Once we have proven for ourselves the resoluteness of such an endeavor, that’s when others may hopefully take notice that our light hasn’t extinguished, but merely dimmed.

        Thanks again for writing!

        Reply
    2. Maria Potter Avatar
      Maria Potter

      Frank, what a great and brave article this is. It tells an important truth, and what struck me most is how accurate the metaphor is: we don’t just hear rhetoric anymore, we consume it. Constantly. Mindlessly. In portions so large that we stop noticing how sick it makes us feel.
      We have forgotten that what we feed our minds matters just as much as what we feed our bodies. Repetition shapes appetite; appetite shapes habit; habit shapes identity. And yet we rarely pause to take a second look at our mental “menu,” to remind ourselves that kindness, curiosity, and empathy are not indulgences, they’re nourishment.
      We don’t fast. Not from outrage, not from fear, not from being told who to hate next. And the worst part, just like bad food, is that the damage isn’t immediate, it’s cumulative.
      So we have to ask ourselves what we are feeding our minds every day. Because eventually, what we consume becomes what we normalize. We don’t need perfection. We need intention. Choosing what strengthens us instead of what inflames us. Choosing nourishment over indulgence. Choosing to stay awake.
      Most importantly, remembering that morality, hope, and empathy do have weight, but they’re the kind of weight that makes us better, that makes us human. Let’s accept your invitation, and let’s make better choices.

      Maria

      Reply
      1. Being Frank Avatar
        Being Frank

        Maria, as always, thank you for your insightful and kind comment. This articles came to mind as I was reading news reports or listening to podcasts, news programs or political pundits right at the turn of the new year. What struck me was how so many kept referring to a loss – a loss of dignity, a loss of freedom, a loss of sanity. So as I started to think of these “losses”, I wondered where they came from and what truly drove them into existence. You’re quite correct in that we don’t recall what it is that feeds our minds. We’re so lost in the rhetoric or the shock of a given action that before we can rationalize the effect it has on us, we’re hit with yet another incoherent action. It’s difficult for us to wrap our heads around this “blitzkrieg brain bombing”, so we resort to a reactionary mindset. All that does is make us lose faith in the greater whole; we lose the ability to think of where we are in this maelstrom of madness and what we as individuals can do to bring reason into the picture. I recently wrote that many people these days are talking about “Might Makes Right”. Yet I like to believe that right makes reason. If we keep a steady diet of hope, empathy and accountability along with the might that comes from reason, then I believe that we’ll lose less of ourselves while helping to lose the bad choices we’ve been making for far too long. Again, thank you for your great note!

        Reply

    Leave a Reply