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    A Thought About Forever

    Being Frank
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    Today, September 5th, is the second anniversary of my beloved’s passing. It arrived at a time when so much is going on in the world, in my mind, and in my heart that I scarcely noticed its arrival. I felt shameful about that; as though I assigned importance to everything or everyone else except her.

    But that’s not the case at all.

    Truth be told, this is the way of the world. Yet, those who have passed away continue to exist in our memories. They live a quiet life in our hearts where we visit them from time to time to relive a few cherished moments that help to keep us connected or perhaps bolster our courage. Sometimes it’s the sound of love put into words through a favorite phrase that is carried by a distinctive yet nebulous voice woven within a memory that causes us to be awaken at 3:00am.

    Those whom we have loved (and still do) may no longer hold our focus but are rather felt as a belief or a viewpoint. When I found myself addressing my beloved’s passing as having occurred two years ago, the pluralization of that word caused my mind to expand, as if a curtain was suddenly opened to reveal a landscape I had avoided for fear that it might control the narrative in my mind and allow CeCe to get lost in life’s unavoidable minutiae.

    But that’s not the case at all.

    Every memory we choose to keep is built on love; every essence belonging to those whom we cherish is transformed. It’s the miraculous yet undeniable metamorphosis from the physical to the virtual; a conversion from the world we inhabit to a transcendent form of pure energy. To paraphrase a line from a religious text, life doesn’t end, it merely changes.

    Final Thoughts

    I’ve been thinking about how CeCe described the cycle of life, and of the beautiful manner in which she imagined – believed – the process working within the framework of our known universe. It’s a story for her forthcoming memoir. But today, on the 730th day of her passing, it’s a reality. I like to think of her contemplating the limitless avenues of existence as easily as we take a stroll in the park; witnessing the outcomes of those theoretical and theological conundrums that have confounded scientists and philosophers alike for generations. For her and all of those who have embarked on that journey, this is their reality. And it’s a realization that comforts my heart and gives my love for her greater wings with which to fly. Wings that will one day guide me to join her in that adventure.

    5 responses to “A Thought About Forever”

    1. Sharon Goodenow Avatar
      Sharon Goodenow

      I have found my brain busily sweeping away the exact date of a loved one’s death (maybe I fear I cannot bear to think of it on the exact date).

      Instead, thoughts come to me when I think of activities or events we shared. Or when I see a picture of them, or remember the unconditional love.

      Or when I read one of your articles and it sparks my brain to remember. Thank you for those times.

      Reply
      1. Being Frank Avatar
        Being Frank

        Sharon – thank you so much for sharing these touching insights. I once wrote: “To generate a positive thought in the mind of another individual is the single most powerful act in the life of any human being.” I’m deeply honored that my write-up for the 2nd anniversary of CeCe’s passing guided you towards remembrances of people you once knew. The pain of loss is one of the most profound emotions anyone can possibly experience. But as time passes, I’ve learned that such pain can be substituted with the warmth of those remembrances that help to bring these beloved people back into our minds. They truly never leave our hearts, so to relive those happy experiences gives the love in your heart the ability to rest easy knowing that they’re never forgotten. For me, that’s part of the blessings of healing. Thank you so much for sharing this; I wish for you many happy remembrances of all those special times…

        Reply
    2. Maria Potter Avatar
      Maria Potter

      Frank, when I read your words, what I feel most is the quiet magnificence of having known such love. To hold CeCe in your heart through memories, through belief, through the energy that never really dissipates, is a gift that doesn’t fade with anniversaries or numbers. The shame you mentioned has no place here; what it really shows is that life is layered and complicated, yet your love for her continues to surface, steady and unshaken.
      How lucky are those of us who’ve witnessed the kind of bond you and CeCe shared. It doesn’t get lost in the minutiae, you carry it gently, she remains present, and together you remind the rest of us that love doesn’t end, it simply transforms. To have found a love that reaches beyond mortality is nothing less than extraordinary, a flame that refuses to dim, even in the dark. Grief should never shadow such radiance, for it is proof that love outlives us, eternal and untouchable. ?

      Reply
      1. Being Frank Avatar
        Being Frank

        Maria – thank you so much for contributing your wonderful thoughts to this special posting. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of sharing the miracle that was CeCe. But as the days have inexorably turned into years, I find myself celebrating more and more her wondrous spirit in those private moments that lift the heart when grief casts a heavy shadow on an otherwise bright and shining life. It was also important for me to share a simple yet powerful belief that life does not end at the edge of our mortal existence. It merely transforms into an energy that fuels the endless cycle of life, becoming the solar winds that fill the sails of those we love, so that one day they may be guided through to their next destination in this celestial voyage. There is no doubt that we will all reunite with the essence of those whom we’ve loved; it’s a connection that will always come about, rising above the limited impressions of this brief but amazing existence. Thanks again for writing!

        Reply
    3. martinon019 Avatar
      martinon019

      Querido Frank,

      Reply

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