being frank

The Bell Curve has been on my mind a lot lately. You know; that normal distribution graph used in schools to determine a student’s academic standing based on a median average. These days, bell curves are used everywhere from Human Resource departments to healthcare organizations and even sports teams. It’s basically a tool for measuring a ranking, and God knows we love to measure everything. So regardless of time, place, or purpose, where you sit on a bell curve typically determines your standing based on knowledge and/or capabilities. If you consider the adage, you are what you eat, then it stands to reason that what you are is also what you know.

But I was thinking about it from a slightly different angle; one that measures life from a perspective of quality and purpose. In that regard, it seemed to me that what I needed wasn’t so much a bell curve but a type of flat-topped hill or plateau. The slopes leading to the top could be steep or graduated, depending on the time spent during the ascent. They would also be neither smooth nor predictable; that’s because they would be measuring life’s unavoidable or unexpected ups and downs.

So with that image in mind, I saw that life could be broken down into two chapters, each contributing to life’s quality and purpose through its various layers or milestones, if you will. I do realize that life has lots more chapters, but I chose this breakdown for sharing my mental meanderings for the sake of your time and my sanity.

Chapter One – The Climb

• We make our entrance into this world (aka the original birthday.)
  • We come equipped with a weak body and an underdeveloped mind (a shout-out to the innate abilities pre-wired by nature.)
  • We’re ignorant of the world because it’s all new and bewildering.
    • Everything we initially see is both fascinating and intimidating. We learn how to walk, to communicate, to ride a bike, and discover the wonderful world of hormones.
  • We initially have nothing to show others that would even merit a passing interest.
    • Our perception emerges using two views: Inward and upward (i.e., we become primarily self-aware.) We learn to categorize; we become competitive, develop an ego, take risks, explore the world around us, and search for our own identity.
• We have no resources to speak of with the possible exception of parents, relatives, or perhaps a trust fund.
  • NOTE: The possession of a trust fund usually creates a spin-off from this chapter that outlines the development of a new character for whom quality and purpose may not apply. Please refer to current events for further information and examples.
• The ability to make sense of our youth provides the golden ticket into maturity.
  • It’s our coming-of-age party; we gather key nuggets of insight and common sense to support the development of our physical, mental, and psychological make-up.
  • Our natural intention is now set in motion to seek out new experiences, new faces, and ways to find that place in the world where we belong.
    • We dream of a future shaped by the steps we’ll take and the consequences we hope they’ll create.

Chapter Two – The Journey

This is the beginning of the end of your life.

Quick Sidebar: OK, this may seem a bit morose (especially just before the holidays), but why should any part of your life’s journey seem gloomy or Eeyorish? Look at it this way: Some people live life as a sprinter while others live it as a jogger. Then there are those who live life as a long distance runner with no end in sight, and with all their passion tied up in wondering how far they can go before the race is over. This is the chapter of life when we should live for the distance; not the destination.

• In this segment, we become what is commonly referred to as an adult.
  • Our body is seasoned and in its prime, and our mind is filled with exciting ideas and opinions.
  • Our journey becomes less about climbing; it’s where we choose the direction of travel based on the lessons we’ve learned, making adjustments along the way through the wisdom that typically comes with age.
  • We discover that the pace of life has seemingly become new and bewildering.
    • Some find joy in this new and bewildering paradigm; second careers, second chances, second anything. This blog is a perfect example; you’re partaking in my personal odyssey as you read this posting. It’s what I’ve chosen to pursue in order to find joy beyond the pain of loss.
    • Others might struggle to understand how (and when) this fast, new, and baffling world changed and will try to find avenues where they may retreat for reflection or peace of mind.
• We discover the potential for establishing a meaningful life by interacting with others as we travel through this chapter.
  • The realization of our true purpose comes into focus; our perception becomes omnidirectional. Some will choose to share their experiences and establish relevant connections. Others will continue to find a way to maintain the status quo.
    • It’s important to remember that sharing is a way to provide knowledge. And knowledge provides a common ground for growth. It’s on that plateau I wrote about earlier where you would determine how your life unfolds depending on what you learn, from whom, and how you plan to share it.
  • I’ll give you a freebie: One of the common threads that binds all of human life is the uncertainty of the future. How we decide to approach it may appear as unique as a snowflake. Yet if you take into consideration all the people who have ever existed on this planet (and yep, somebody figured that out – about 117 billion), odds are that your approach has already been tested down life’s runway before. But what matters is how you decide to face it; how you choose to dance to the music you’ve chosen.

In my humble estimation, one of the most uplifting lyrics about the future I’ve ever heard came from a song written by Stephen Sondheim for the musical West Side Story:

Could it be, yes it could; something’s comin’, something good, if I can wait. Something’s comin’, I don’t know what it is but it is gonna be great!

You just cannot knock that kind of positivity.

Bottom Line

The quality and purpose of life are easily measured once we understand that all of us are part of the equation. That bell curve I referenced earlier needs two things to work: An average value and a standard deviation. Life provides the average value through the building blocks we all receive at birth. Our choices in life and their consequences provide the measurements by which to determine how our life will be; how far our purpose will take us and how the width of our quality of life will affect or inspire others. This is the simple yet amazing purpose of life: To use the collective value of our experiences and intellect to create a greater world for all.

I’ll leave you with an introspective quote from the late, great actor, Yul Brynner: We are born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Everything in between is a gift.