This week has been, well, revelatory. And to help wash away the bitter taste of professional disappointment, I chose to write this brief commentary dedicated to all those stalwart corporate or government workers out there who are constantly besieged by acronyms that often defy logic, but certainly prove that someone, somewhere, once had an impish sense of humor.
Now, in fairness to fun and fair play in organizations everywhere (and to avoid potential legal action from agencies with no sense of humor), I give to you a few fun acronyms that should exist out in the world. If anything, to give those cogs in the wheel something to smile about in between inventory spreadsheets, production charts, VENN diagrams, and any variation on the mind-bending TPS report made famous in the film, Office Space. Oh, and if any of these acronyms are being used somewhere, my sincerest apologies for the coincidence – or you’re welcome. Enjoy.
ARF – Atomic Research Facility
BASS – Basic Assessment of Strategic Skills
BAT – Bureau of Assessments and Taxation
BUMR – Bureau of Underutilized Medical Resources
BUTT – Basic Understanding of Trade Tariffs
CARE – Capture Actions Regarding Employment
CRAP – Corporate Realignment of Asset Production
DAMN – Digital Assets Management Network
DARE – Departmental Agency for Realistic Expectations
DATE – Don’t Accept Tricky Euphemisms
DONT CARE – Design Only Necessary Training Curricula Applicable for Retraining Employees
DRUNC – Department of Records Undersecretary for Narrative Content
FART – Fire and Rescue Team
FLOAT – Finding Legal Opportunities to Avoid Taxation
GEESUS – General Executive Examination of Suspected Underutilized Staff
GOT SOM – Government Office of Trade School of Management
IMP – Important Military Personnel
MEOW – Main Engineering Observation Window
OOPS – Objective Observations of Personnel Skillsets
ROPE – Recognition of Personnel Excellence
SINK – Safeguarding Important Neurocomputer Knowledge
SWIM – Survey of Women in Management
UDID – Understanding Digital Information Design
UDIDNT – Understanding Digital Information Design’s Network Traffic
WINE – World Information Network Exchange
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