being frank

One phrase I often hear is that life is what we make of it. I do agree to a great extent. But as the Scottish poet Robert Burns admonished us, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. And that, in this humble writer’s opinion, is one of the more prescient statements about life ever written. With the possible exception of a quote from Kilroy J. Oldster: Life is a crap shoot.

I know few people who have not gone through great lengths to plan out their lives, personal or professional. We spend years in academia; we log countless hours reading books, watching films, perfecting talents or crafts, or observing others for the sake of discerning patterns of social behavior. We even do our best to pick the right companion in life, save for those times when logic or love’s intuition are sidetracked by the thoughtless or wayward aspects of biology. But as I’ve written in the past, change is inevitable, and thus a predictive life from the standpoint of how we control it is mostly folly.

Loss is another matter altogether. For loss provides a simple example that predictability has some influence over change. In the face of disease or aging, loss reminds us that in our existence, finality is unavoidable and thus predictable. The only unpredictable aspects remain as to when and how that end will occur. The other unpredictable component is time. We know that we have it. Some believe they have gobs of it, while others are confident that patterns of healthy choices are guaranteed to tip the scales in their favor for more of it. But that is the beautiful and predictable component about the unpredictability of time – it’s finite.

So why a commentary on the obvious? Well, because a predictive life only works when we delude ourselves as to the mastery of our fate. We may know that time is finite and that change is inevitable, but many live as though their tomorrows are an endless succession of adventures and experiences. Loss is the one experience – the one lesson – that brings our predictable life to a halt. And as much as we may say that we know there is an end, we don’t show it and thus deny ourselves the greatest gift: That of enjoying each day – each moment – to its fullest. A fulfilling life is nothing more than a strand of experiences turned into memories that are woven together by chance and given luster by faith. If you can stay focused on that kind of life, your happiness with be predictably wonderful no matter the time, place, or circumstance.